EULOGY FOR SUSAN DIANNE BROWN ENSLEN
[Dianne Brown Enslen, my wife for more than 46 years, died on January 26, 2015, after courageously fighting a five-year battle with pancreatic cancer. After her death, I wrote the overwhelming majority of the information in her eulogy which was superbly presented by her friend and neighbor Chris McLaughlin.]
[Eulogy given by Sister Chris McLaughlin at the Wetumpka Ward Chapel of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at 2:10 p.m. on January 26, 2015.]
Early Life
Susan Dianne Brown was born January 18, 1949, in Anderson, South Carolina, because there was no hospital in her small hometown of Hartwell, Georgia, just 20 miles away. Dianne died on Friday, January 23, 2015, at 12:53 p.m. She died peacefully in the arms of her husband. She was surrounded by family. Dianne died in her native state of Georgia at the hospital in Newnan.
Her father, Harold C. Brown, was a World War II combat veteran and a graduate in animal husbandry from the University of Georgia. By profession he was a farmer, mainly raising registered horned Herefords with a large bull named “Popeye” that he bought from actor John Wayne. The family home was located on the shores of brand-new Lake Hartwell which the family watched fill with water from nearby creeks over a three-year period. He later managed the local Production Credit Association loan office and the farmer’s cooperative.
Dianne’s mother was Eleanor Sue Moorhead Brown, who was a homebound invalid for much of Dianne’s life. Since Dianne was mostly raised by her father, she deeply adored him above all other humans. In her eyes, her father was the example of a near-perfect man, a standard which her husband John felt he could never meet, despite his best efforts.
When Dianne was six months of age, she was riding in the backseat of the family car with her maternal grandparents. Her father was driving and her mother was in the front passenger seat. During this leisurely Sunday afternoon drive, a drunken truck driver slammed into the side of the vehicle. Her grandfather, who anticipated the collision, threw Dianne into the floorboard as the best means for her preservation. Both of her grandparents were killed. Her mother was permanently injured and lived a debilitated life thereafter. Her father recovered from a broken pelvis and back over a long period of convalescence.
Because of this accident, Dianne was an only child, pampered by her father and heavily engaged, even as a child, in caring for her infirm mother. Due mostly to the accident, Dianne only has one close living blood relative, a first cousin named Renna Phillips who lives in Athens, Georgia. Renna is like an older sister to Dianne, and Renna lovingly sat with Dianne on a number of occasions in the hospital in Newnan.
Dianne was an all “A” student in school, played in the band, was an accomplished pianist, a majorette, a beauty queen, and a cheerleader. She graduated with honors from Hart County High School in 1967.
She attended Clemson University where she was immediately selected as a freshman cheerleader and later as Magnolia Queen. There she met and fell in love with her future husband John, a fellow cheerleader who had just retired from two years of being the scout team quarterback on the football team. They were married at the First Baptist Church in Hartwell, Georgia, on December 21, 1968, mid-way through Dianne’s sophomore year in college.
Because Dianne was willing to postpone her own education and get down on her hands and knees six days a week to fit shoes on dirty stinky feet at a shoe store in the Alberta City area of Tuscaloosa, John was able to attend law school at the University of Alabama. After living in Tuscaloosa for three years, and a stint of active duty military service, Dianne came to live in her newly adopted hometown of Wetumpka, Alabama.
Service in her Church
On May 5, 1973, about a year after John’s graduation from law school, Dianne became the first woman living in Wetumpka to be baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In October of 1974, she found and selected a small house on Autauga Street to be the first temporary meetinghouse for a very small congregation in Wetumpka. She labored valiantly in countless ways to help grow the church into the 400-plus member organization that it is today.
Between October 1977 and Easter Sunday 1978, Dianne opened her home to serve as the meetinghouse for all church meetings. Dianne and John remodeled their home by closing in the former two-car garage and converting it into a chapel area. John kidded Dianne about her somehow still finding a way to be late for church each Sunday. During Dianne’s lifetime, she served multiple times as the president of all auxiliaries led by women—the primary, the young women, and the relief society. She was the sole volunteer pianist for the congregation for more than 20 years.
Ken Bailey shared a memory he had of Dianne playing the piano on the back of John’s blue pick-up truck at the ground breaking for the first phase of this building in 1977.
Professionally
Dianne never gave up on completing her college education. After taking classes in French at Clemson University and the University of Alabama, Dianne had to wait until 1978 to further her formal education. She ultimately obtained her nursing degree with five of her six children in tow, one of which was born while she was a nursing school student. Dianne graduated second in her class from Troy State University in 1982 at the age of 33. John played “Mr. Mom” during Dianne’s four years of nursing school, and their children have some wild stories about John’s severe lack of mothering skills. By the end of nursing school, Dianne’s oldest child, Georgia, was the 13-year-old surrogate mother to the younger children.
While attending nursing school, Dianne was selected as “Senior of the Quarter” by the administration of the Troy State University School of Nursing. She was featured in the school’s Newsletter, Volume V, No. 3, April 1982. In her own words, here is what Dianne had to say in that publication:
“I am not really sure why I started to nursing school in 1978. After ten years of marriage, I had a wonderful husband and a house full of sweet children (five plus a husband). Ms. Scan says I needed an escape! Maybe I did, although I felt I was happy at the time. At any rate, I wanted to be qualified in something besides dishes, laundry, and diaper-changing. I looked at things realistically. If something were to happen to my husband, who would want to look after a widow with five kids? Since I was already head nurse of the Enslen pediatric unit at home and had first-hand expertise and on-the-job training in labor and delivery, becoming a nurse seemed the logical thing to do. Besides that, I had such a strong maternal instinct, nurturing and caring for others were second nature to me. We all summoned a lot of courage at our house and decided Mom would go back to school.”
As a side note, Dianne wrote, “My husband would like to THANK TSU for giving him the opportunity to take a course in mothering. He’s glad this is his last quarter!
After graduation, Dianne served as a free volunteer school nurse for 12 years for the Wetumpka area schools prior to the establishment of a paid nursing position.
In 2001, Dianne founded the first comprehensive medical services company for the Elmore County Jail. There she found an unlimited outlet for her boundless compassion. John called her a “Jail Nightingale” with 300 additional children under her care, all of whom naturally suffered from clinical depression. When people would call for Dianne at home, John enjoyed telling them that Dianne was in jail.
Later when Dianne reflected on her work as a jail nurse, she remembered it as a happy time in her life. She was in her element serving others.
This observation about Dianne’s capacity for empathy is captured by an anecdote told by her husband John. He wrote, “Several times, I would be out with Dianne shopping or going out to eat and all of a sudden I would see Dianne and another person totally unknown to me, sometimes male, sometimes female, just hugging on each other like they were long lost war veterans who had been in the same foxhole. In fact, some of them looked rough, worn, and ragged enough that they could have just walked off a battlefield. I learned quickly not to worry about it and just enjoy the experience. These embraces came from released inmates who were back on the streets joyfully running into the one person in the world who had helped them experience something they had never before experienced—the unconditional love of a caring mother-nurse.”
Missionary Service
After five years of work at the jail, Dianne served a one-year volunteer mission for her church in Cambodia. The only thing that really bothered Dianne about serving a foreign mission was being away from her children and grandchildren. From time to time, she required considerable consoling while she and John lived oceans away in Cambodia for a year. It was not uncommon for John to pick her up, set her in his lap and rock her in a rocking chair until she was ready to go back out into the world and faithfully serve the poorest of the poor, binding their emotional and physical wounds and telling them the stories of Jesus.
While on her mission, she used her nursing skills, which were not required to be licensed or limited in any way in that country, to improve the health of not only the 60 LDS missionaries serving in that country, but hundreds of native Cambodians, one of whom she has been helping to put through medical school in that country. He will graduate this year. During her lifetime, Dianne never said anything about her helping to put a poor Cambodian through med school.
In 2009-2010, Dianne served another one-year volunteer mission for her church in Salt Lake City, Utah. She again used her nursing skills to care for scores of sick senior missionaries who were serving in and near church headquarters.
Hobbies
For fun, Dianne loved tap dancing with some of her favorite girl-friends.
She was also an extra in four movies, having a featured extra role in “17 Miracles.” She loved this experience and said that it was life changing for her when she began to understand what the early saints endured. She had an opportunity to be in another movie after “17 Miracles” but her declining health kept her from it.
If you knew Dianne, you probably knew that she loved digging sea shells at Orange Beach, especially with grandchildren. She loved escaping to the beach when she had the chance.
Family
Dianne’s experiences with family shaped her. Dianne’s mother died on February 10, 1974, when Dianne was 25 years old. On April 12, 1975, her father remarried a widow named Helen Dowis of Royston, Georgia, who had three wonderful children: Sandra, Phyllis, and Dee Dowis. Dee, the youngest, was only 7 years old, about the same age as Dianne’s first child Georgia. Dianne enjoyed watching her new little brother Dee grow up and become a star quarterback at the Air Force Academy, finishing 6th for the Heisman Trophy in 1989.
Dianne raised six children in Elmore County, some of whom attended Wetumpka High School and some of whom attended Edgewood Academy. Dianne attended innumerable field trips, class parties, school plays, piano recitals, and athletic events—football, soccer, basketball, swim team, baseball, gymnastics, tennis, and cheerleading. Her six children, in order of age, are a monument to Dianne’s industry and dedication as a mother:
- Georgia Enslen Pinkston, the mother of four, holds a degree in English from Brigham Young University and master’s degrees in education from both Alabama State University and Auburn University, and works for the Elmore County Board of Education. She is married to Judge Patrick Pinkston of Bishop, California.
- Jacob Enslen, the father of four, holds an honors degree in English from Brigham Young University, graduated from the Montgomery Police Academy, holds a master’s degree in criminal justice with a perfect 4.0 from Troy University, and is a law enforcement officer in Lehi, Utah. He is married to Donna Martin of Magnolia, Alabama.
- Joshua Enslen, the father of four, holds a degree in music from the University of Alabama and both a master’s degree and doctorate degree from the University of Georgia in Romance Languages, and is a professor at the U. S. Military Academy at West Point. He is married to Alaina Loden of Prattville, Alabama.
- Jessica Enslen Slade, the mother of three, holds a degree in history from Auburn University of Montgomery and previously taught school in Arizona. She is married to Bryant Slade of Snowflake, Arizona.
- Jenny Enslen Stubbs, the mother of four, holds a degree in journalism from the University of Alabama and publishes a health and fitness magazine. She is married to Coach Troy Stubbs of Charleston, South Carolina.
- Joseph Enslen is a special child. Joseph persevered to obtain an occupational degree from Wetumpka High School. He is an avid follower of Alabama football and with his savant memory can answer most any question about its current or past teams. John and Dianne have said that they have learned more from raising Joseph than from all of their other children combined. But it was not her children’s academic degrees that brought joy to Dianne. Rather, it was the way in which they lived their lives—their commitment to obeying God and raising their own families in righteousness. In my opinion, Dianne’s children and grandchildren are a brilliant reflection of the faith and goodness of their angel mother. She was so proud of you! From her place in heaven, I believe she will continue to advocate for each of you.
Friends
Dianne treasured her friendships. Shortly after Dianne came to live in Wetumpka, she had a knock on her front door. It was a young woman about the same age as Dianne. The unknown woman at the door asked if Dianne needed to hire any housekeeping help. It was perfect timing, and Dianne said yes.
40 years later, Minnie Tucker was still working her usual two days a week for Dianne. They worked side by side as they tackled together the household duties for a family with six children. But their relationship was never centered on employer and employee. They were true friends.
Dianne spent her life listening to others, except that Minnie was the one who would listen to Dianne, and counsel her and comfort her and offer encouraging words. Minnie was often like a second mother to the children. Photos of Minnie’s family adorn prominent places in Dianne’s home. John and Minnie Tucker were two of the first people to visit John following Dianne’s death.
After moving to Wetumpka in 1997 and becoming Dianne’s neighbor, Dianne and I became close friends. We had a lot in common and enjoyed walking many miles together on Dianne’s driveway attempting to burn calories. The endorphins we got from exercise and our therapeutic conversations solidified our friendship. We then became partners in crime at the Elmore County Jail as nurses. Dianne was by far the best nurse among us and was dedicated to delivering the best medical care to the inmates that we were allowed to give.
There are many other friends who were dear to Dianne. They are likely here today and know who they are.
Once after one of our driveway walks, Dianne shared with me words attributed to Mother Teresa that meant a lot to her. The work is entitled “Do It Anyway.” The words are as follows:
“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
To Dianne, these words epitomized what Christ taught while he was here on earth. Dianne touched many lives for good while she was with us. April Humphries, the wife of Allen Humphries who taught and baptized Dianne 42 years ago was one of those. She wrote John this email yesterday: “John, I remember the last time I spoke with Dianne, years ago now. She was sitting on my couch in our home in Utah and her face was illuminated by the lamp glowing behind her. She was so beautiful, and I can still hear her very gracious and dignified southern drawl saying to me, ‘April, I know something is wrong. I can feel it. The doctors tell me I am fine, but I KNOW something is wrong.’ Her words pierced my heart and I truly believe that she knew something of the journey that was ahead of her.
When we meet people in our lives, we are happy, we visit, and then we say ‘Good-bye’ until the next time we meet. Occasionally we meet someone like Dianne. I have always taken her with me. I think of her often, even though we don’t see each other frequently. I take the dignity, grace, and love that she truly was, and often think, ‘What would Dianne Enslen do in this situation?’ I am a better woman because I have always taken her with me and will continue to do so until we meet again. I love you, April.”
Dignity, grace and love truly were Dianne.
Besides many friends, her children have high esteem for the woman who sacrificed so much for them.
Jacob says of his mother, “Mom’s passion was her children. Being a mother was her calling and she loved it. She always saw the good in us—even my bad brothers and sisters. (laughter) I don’t recall ever hearing her complain about having to drive us around to all of our activities. She drove a red and white Volkswagen van with red and white checkered curtains before the several Chevrolet Suburbans with the license plate ‘Enslen 8.’ She made the coolest Halloween and school play costumes. Skeletor was my favorite. If we argued then she would sing the primary song refrain, ‘We must all speak kind words to each other.’ She never turned away someone in need. She would provide room and board for prisoners needing a fresh start after getting out of jail. They all loved her because they knew she genuinely cared about them. She always had something nice to say. If you mistreated her children, then she could become as fierce as a lioness protecting her cubs. Some big mean boys wouldn’t give me back my basketball. After getting in the car without it, she marched into the midst of them. The boys were no match for her righteous anger. She was a lady. She liked all of our friends and made them feel welcome. She would always make my favorite banana pudding when I came home for a visit.”
Her daughter-in-law, Alaina, said, “Dianne knew how to multitask. One of my earliest memories of her was seeing Dianne riding her lawn mower up and down the yard in her swimsuit. She was the best organizer I knew. Everything and anything looked better in a Ziploc bag. Most of all Dianne’s love was monumental. She was the beating heart of the Enslen family and her generosity, kindness, and compassion will continue infinitely through all those who have felt her love.”
Jessica shared this: “Mama was always honest. She never sat silently by and watched a person get mistreated. She spoke up for those who didn’t have a voice. She listened to those who needed to talk. She talked to those who needed to hear. She gave great hugs and good ‘sugar.’ I used to love it when Mama tied my shoes; she just had the perfect touch. She was the essence of service, charity and love. Mama was tenacious; she was not a quitter! If she started something, she would finish it, no matter what. If you lost something, she could find it, no matter what it was. She used to make great homemade chicken and dumplings and had a gift with meringue! She could always get the stiff peaks just right. She is my best friend and I already miss her so much. I am so very proud and I feel so privileged to have been her daughter. She made each one of us feel like we were her favorite. She made everyone feel special.”
Jenny said of her mother, “I never once remember being around mama and being ‘needful’ of anything. If ever I was hungry, dirty, cold or uncomfortable, she did not let me stay that way for long.” Reflecting further, Jenny said, “As a mother of four children, it seems nearly impossible to me to always sense and fulfill the needs of six children before they even realize the need themselves. And I imagine that is what our Father in Heaven is like: capable of sensing a child’s need and finding the best ways to fulfill them. She was most Christ-like that way. She often sacrificed her own time and comforts in order for her children to be most comfortable. Her example of having an affectionate love for her children is the best gift she ever gave me. I loved when she would dance around and sing with us. She was filled with such dignity and integrity. She was always modest, remained very naturally beautiful, and would never let us say ‘ugly’ words. She, indeed, was kindness, integrity, grace and love personified.”
I was with Dianne recently when Georgia called to tell her mother she got the assistant administrator job with the Elmore County Board of Education. Dianne’s reply was, “It couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.” She magnified her children. No wonder they are all such amazing people.
In Georgia’s reflection on her mother, she said, “Mom has always been one of my best friends. When I was a little girl and my black hamster named Jellybean died, my mom cried with me; when I was in junior high and some girls were being mean to me and hurting my feelings, she cried with me, and then she told me she would get them if I wanted her to; when I took my last college final at BYU, I went straight to the pay phone in the testing center foyer and called my mom. She was at the hospital when all of my children were born except Rhett, and she wasn’t there then because she was spending the night at my house with my other children. She always told me that I was smart and beautiful. Both times I was in graduate school, when I felt I had reached the end of my rope and just couldn’t do it anymore, I would remember her studying for her nursing classes at the vanity in her bathroom all hours of the night so that during the day she could take care of all her other responsibilities. Her example inspired me to pull myself up by my bootstraps and forge ahead. The care and compassion she showed for the inmates she served when she worked as a nurse at the jail inspired me to care and have compassion for the students I served at the alternative school. Most importantly, I learned from her example how to love, nurture, and teach my own children. She taught me that while my children don’t have to be the best dressed, they should always be clean, well groomed, and presentable. She taught me that while my children did not have to be #1 at everything, I should expect them to put forth the best effort of which they were capable. And she taught me that though my children won’t ever be perfect, they should feel perfectly well loved by their mother.”
One thing that was very remarkable about Dianne was the fact that she never sought to draw special attention to herself.
Dianne has been John’s heartthrob since he first laid eyes on her. John said this of Dianne, “I have seen Dianne, on very rare occasions, express her sad disappointment in someone else’s misconduct. But I have never in my life witnessed Dianne say an unkind word to another person or do any mean-spirited thing toward anyone, EXCEPT ME! And I fully deserved every bit of her wrath. Dianne was her own independent person and was never reluctant to communicate to me her own thoughts and feelings. She could easily build me up whenever I got too low, and just as easily bring me back down whenever I got too high. She was and will always be my very best friend and holds the only key to my heart.”
Many petitioned the Lord on Dianne’s behalf. She did not die of cancer, but of a subsequent post-surgery bacterial infection that over time consumed her body. (She was the first woman in the State of Georgia to receive the experimental Nanoknife-electrical IRE ablation surgery.) Dianne fought long and hard until the very end, not for herself, but because she wanted to be here for her family. We know that she is now pain free and at peace. Although she will be terribly missed, her gift of love and friendship will go on into the eternities. Those who have known her have been indelibly marked by one truly noble woman. My blessing was to be among these.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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