Church Talks
MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS
[Talk given by John E. Enslen, visiting high councilman, in a sacrament meeting of the Prattville Ward of the Montgomery Alabama Stake on Sunday, September 12, 2010.]
Today I wish to speak by assignment to the mothers and daughters who are present, and particularly about the mother/daughter relationship.
Having never been in a mother/daughter relationship myself, I readily acknowledge my lack of expertise on the subject. I also readily admit that men never have been, and never will be, able to do what women were divinely designed and designated to do before the foundation of the world. As a substitute for my lack of personal experience, I will be relying primarily on my observations of the mother/daughter relationship as revealed through my wife and her daughters, and others of their gender whom I have known.
My wife Dianne has three daughters. They all have southern double names like Georgia Brown, Jessie Lou, and Jenny Sue. She also has ten granddaughters, two of which carry Dianne’s name and six others which carry the name of either a grandmother or a great-grandmother.
My wife’s daughters and granddaughters adore her, as she does them. They are close. Of our two granddaughters who are not named for either a grandmother or great-grandmother, one of them, Skyler, age 12, has already made the statement that when she becomes legally able to do so, she is going to change her middle name to Dianne.
My wife has had an eternally significant influence for good on our daughters and granddaughters, and they have had an eternally significant influence for good on her. In the last General Conference, Elder Melvin J. Ballard said: “There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman.”
Yesterday I sent an e-mail to our three girls and asked them to tell me just one thing that they learned from their mother. One responded: “During all of the times you were gone with your Church callings and she was left alone to take care of six children, I never heard her complain. I remember this now when my husband has a meeting or has to help someone move. I know if she didn’t have anything to complain about then, I certainly don’t have anything to complain about now.”
Another said: “Mama's lack of vanity in dressing modestly taught me that the way I acted and treated other people was more important than the way I looked.”
Another said: “One time there was a boy who was calling me on the phone, and I didn’t want to talk to him. Mama was about to answer the phone, and I asked her to tell him that I was not available to talk. She said, ‘No, I will not lie for you.’ and handed me the phone. I have thought about that a lot through the years, and it has inspired me to be honest, even if it is not pleasant or convenient.”
We brethren admire good mothers. You mothers have a sacred assignment—an appointed stewardship, and God has given you the precise tools to accomplish that assignment. You have special gifts and inherent talents to nurture your daughters. There is a natural affection which causes you to unconditionally love your daughters. You rejoice with your daughters in every praiseworthy accomplishment. You suffer with your daughters in every bad choice that your daughters make.
It is in your divine nature to have compassion, especially for a daughter, to care for her when an infant, to help her when in need, to heal her when sick, to comfort her when troubled, to lift her when she is down. Your daily thoughts are filled with worry and concern for your daughter.
Satan would squelch those natural affections of a righteous mother and future mother. I recently saw a commercial for a forthcoming movie. In the starring role will be a muscular, mean-spirited woman. She can kick in your face, cut your throat, gouge out your eyes, amputate your limbs, and eat your heart. The precious elements of true womanhood are almost totally absent in the world’s heroines of today.
A righteous mother will begin forewarning her daughter as early in life as possible to outright reject the world’s perception of what a woman should be. As we all know, the media focuses its attention on the woman who is immodest in her dress, immoral in her relationships, intemperate in her habits, vulgar in her speech, and aggressive in her attitude. The more outrageous her conduct, the more revealing her dress, the more extreme her views, the more she is celebrated. Just as Timothy prophesied, such women are captives of Satan, silly, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God, full of divers lusts, and laden with sin. (See 2 Tim. 3:1-6)
I have another quote from Elder Ballard: “Popular culture today…[makes objects of women] and disrespects them and then suggests that they are able to leave their mark on mankind only by seduction—easily the most pervasively dangerous message the adversary sends to women about themselves.” (Elder Ballard, General Conference)
When a woman, mother or daughter, dresses immodestly, even if she is merely wearing hip huggers, she becomes a willing personal supporter of a Satanic lie—that your value as a woman is dependent upon your sensual appeal to the carnally minded natural man. My dear sisters, your ability to seduce is not the measure of your personal worth.
“You are a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father, prepared to come to the earth at this particular time for a sacred and glorious purpose.” (Young Women Personal Progress) Those who are righteous daughters of God know that true and lasting happiness comes from a life of purity, chastity, cleanliness, kindness, and being a faithful, covenant-keeping follower of Jesus Christ. The Holy Ghost whispers to you, and the Lord who loves you invites you, to walk in the paths of virtue, to lay aside the things of this world, and to cleave unto your covenants. (See D & C 25: 2, 10, 13)
Mothers, your daughters will emulate you to a very high degree. If you wear flip flops and other casual clothing to sacrament meeting, so will they. If you get a tatoo, so will they. If you watch movies with so-called “adult content,” so will they. If you shop on Sunday, so will they. If your lips speak guile of others, so will theirs.
Your daughter’s most utilized learning mode is simply watching you. Merely telling your daughters how to make good choices will never get the job done. You must show them the way, because any inconsistent conduct on your part will always speak louder than your words. Perhaps the most hollow thing you can ever say to your daughter is: “Don't do as I do, just do as I say do.”
Mothers, God trusts you so much that He allows you to bear and care for and influence his spirit children. What greater role could there be for a human being? Please allow me to share this profound quote from Elder Neal A. Maxwell:
“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time.” (Ensign, May 1978, 10-11)
“Some women in today’s world feel ‘cumbered’ by home duties and are thus attracted by other more ‘romantic’ challenges. *** The woman…who deserts the cradle in order to help defend civilization against the barbarians may well later meet, among the barbarians, her own neglected child.” (Press Forward, p. 101)
Young women, your mother who brought you into this world and who has sustained you in life deserves your respect and your listening ear. Admittedly, your mother is an imperfect mortal. She may not know how to text; she may not know what “OMGLOL” means; she may not have a Facebook page; and she may not even care about choosing between “Team Jacob” and “Team Edward.” But she is a more mature and experienced mortal than you are, and she has your eternal best interest, safety, and happiness at the very center of her heart. Please follow her every good example and her every good piece of advice that comes your way. Don’t just follow it, cherish it.
I genuinely stand in awe of every righteous woman and young woman. May God bless you mothers and daughters in Zion with the Spirit of virtue and wisdom and self-discipline I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.